Posted by Julia | 6 min read
You know what's weird about this work? The hardest part isn't the clients, the money stress, or even the safety concerns. It's the crushing loneliness of not being able to talk to anyone about what you actually do for a living.
I'm 23 and I feel like I'm living a double life that would make CIA agents exhausted. When people ask what I do, I have this whole rehearsed story about freelance consulting and online tutoring. When friends complain about their adult jobs, I just nod along like I can relate to office drama and difficult bosses.
Last week my college roommate called to vent about her marketing job, and I found myself getting genuinely jealous. Not of her $40k salary or her demanding boss, but of the fact that she could complain about work to anyone who would listen.
The isolation hits you in weird ways. Like when someone asks about my weekend plans and I have to make up some story about studying instead of saying I have three client appointments booked. Or when my mom asks why I never bring guys home anymore and I can't explain that dating is complicated when your job involves intimacy with strangers.
The stigma is real and it's everywhere. I watch how people react when sex work comes up in movies or news stories, and I know exactly what they'd think of me if they knew. The judgment, the assumptions, the way they'd probably look at me differently even if they tried to be accepting.
I've lost friends over this work, not because I told them, but because maintaining friendships became impossible when I couldn't be honest about my life. You drift apart when you can't share real experiences or be authentic about who you are.
The mental health impact is something nobody warns you about when you're thinking about getting into this industry. The constant secrecy, the social isolation, the way you have to compartmentalize different parts of your life - it's emotionally exhausting in ways I never expected.
Some days I feel proud of what I do. I'm running my own business, making good money, helping people meet their needs in a professional way. Other days I feel ashamed and wonder what's wrong with me that I chose this path.
That emotional roller coaster is probably the hardest part of this work, and it's the part nobody really talks about openly.
